Diana Athill

This is the story of how and why a talented writer came to take his own life.

When Diana Athill met the man she calls Didi, an Egyptian in exile, she fell in love instantly and out of love just as fast. Didi moved into her flat, they shared housework and holidays, and a life of easy intimacy seemed to beckon.

But Didi's sweetness and intelligence soon revealed a darker side - he was a gambler, a drinker and a womanizer, impossible to live with but impossible to ignore. With painful honesty, Athill explores the three years they spent together, a period that culminated in Didi's suicide - in her home - an event he described in the journals he left for her to read as 'the one authentic act of my life'.

England, in the mid-fifties. Meg Bailey has always aspired to live a respectable life. With her best friend, Roxane, she moves from secondary school to an un-bohemian art college in Oxford. Under the watchful eye of Roxanne's mother, Mrs Wheeler, the two girls flourish in Oxfordian society. But Meg constantly longs for more. Not content to stay in Oxford, she finds a job in London. Roxane stays behind and marries Dick, a man of Mrs Wheeler's choosing.

As Meg's independence grows, Dick suddenly appears in London for work. A connection to her past, Meg and Dick's friendship flourishes, blurring the lines of loyalty between what is and what was in a way that changes life for these three friends forever.

The 89-year-old publishing veteran Diana Athill reflects on the disadvantages and occasional benefits of old-age, and the prospect of impending death.