House of the Spirit Levels

When Tony Hardstaff breaks the bank playing ‘Snap!’ at the St Petersburg Casino, he is swept up in a maelstrom of romance and adventure. Seduced by the sultry Natassia Fillipovna Karamazov, Tony is caught in flagrante by the Russian mafia, and flees for his life. Taking the first plane out, Tony returns to his ancestral home in Grimesdale, and to the bosom of the family he left a decade earlier.

But the prodigal son is not welcomed with open arms. His ruthless 183-year-old father Obadiah is less than thrilled to see him, his sister Jane is so shocked, she suffers a nosebleed, and his mother Alice is so upset, she drops dead on the spot. To cap it all, Tony’s Brontë-obsessed ex-sweetheart has gone round the bend, his best mate Dave is now leader of the Morris Dancing Survivalist Militia, and the town he grew up in is under threat…